he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
