The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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