Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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