Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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