I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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