its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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