i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
