im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
