closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
