How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
