This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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