Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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