Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
