He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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