i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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