is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
It was a blind-side dick pic.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
