You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
