You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
