I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
