Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
