u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
