it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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