I don't usually arrange sex via text message
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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