I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
