Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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