his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
