This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
