GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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