And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
