If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
