My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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