Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
