I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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