they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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