And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
