Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
