I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
