i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Someone came in the potted fern
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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