Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
