if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize
