I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
