It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Plan B is the new Plan A
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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