How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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