But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
