The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
