Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
