things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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