We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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