One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
