I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
third nipple confirmed
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
