Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
